I am still complicated. I can't really fathom wat i need and wat i act wants. Nothing is perfect and there's always shit that will happen to screw things up and it is inevitable. Because sad days like I had few days ago makes me appreciate those bright ones. The feeling sucked but I noe it wont go on forever unless of course I wanna prolong it and make it into big issue. I am not a give-upper (if that word ever exist) , I dun jz remain silent and play dead aft I fall short. Maybe all I need to do now is to adjust my expectations cuz the initial expectation were just unrealistic and it failed.



I noe I am not good with expressing my feeling with words. Sometimes Im jz incapable of explaining why I feel the way I do, do things the way I did even in terms of conversation not only in writing. Thats why sometimes people just hv to stop asuming and stop thinking that they are always right aft jumping to a conclusion. Thats why people sometimes just need to figure out wat i am saying, even without using words. You can continue judging me, say things abt me, I dun give a damn. You can either see things in e same way you chose to believe or you can always stretch that horizon. I never deny that I have my moments of self-doubt. I am not prefect, I have flaws - many flaws. But I strive to shore up my shortcomings. I am not done till I'm dead. But then again, who am I to stop you from judging.



I am maintaining this amount of capacity of forgiveness and patience in me, i just dun wan it to run dry. So I dun see the need for you to make things more difficult for me. Im sorry but Im not able to decode ur scrambled signals. It is just too hard when you dun even noe what you want.



Evrione despair at some point of their life - thats a learning experience. Sometimes people like you and me just hv to go thru a wrenching breakup to get to a winning relationship. The past is history, we were once important chapters in each other lives. But there are many chapters more ahead of us. While memories tt were left behind is important, so is the here and now. The moving-on part. Im tryin to learn from the past yet connect it to the present cuz it needs to be understood backwards before leading myself to look forward.



But if you keep second guessing me, tell me wen it will end?